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Smart friends

19 Aug

Just had lunch with a very respected friend. She gave me so much to think about. What am I doing? Am I being silly to think that BB and I can make it through the most recent “episode”. Am I kidding myself that this was an isolated incident with extenuating circumstances? Have I become “that woman”? The one who is so dependent on a man’s attention that she sacrifices her self-respect?

I need some time and space to sort this all out.


Just be a dad

4 Aug

My children will tell you that they have never (maybe once) heard me disparage their father. We parted ways when the boys were 4, 2 and infant. Very sad, we were young. A second marriage for each of us has died as well. Over the last 6 months I have allowed myself to consider trying to reconcile with this man for the sake of my children. Then, there are times like last night that firmly reassure me of my decision so many years ago.

The boys landed in Oregon to visit their dad for a week on Tuesday. They are to return home to me on Saturday. Last night (WED) the dad called to ask if they could come home on Friday because that would be more convenient for him. Really? Hmmm, there must be a new girlfriend.

Issues stemming from my childhood make me fly into mamma bear mode when I feel like my children are in a situation where they are not wanted. I don’t want them to feel like they are a pain in the ass to the adults who are supposed to love them. So, of course, my first instinct is to hop into my car and run down there to rescue them from the situation.

A dear, very honest and tough friend of mine counseled me otherwise. Her sharp words left me stinging and teary. Afterward, I spoke with BB about the whole situation. Shockingly, his counsel was exactly the same without the stinging words. I love both of these people dearly and thank God regularly for placing each in my life.

After some tears, I allowed myself to read and fall asleep. Not changing my plans to rescue my children. But allowing them to cope with the situation – no danger is involved after all. So, I am headed out to celebrate my last few nights of freedom summer before the boys return to an excited momma.

Movie and good company

3 Aug

I went to a movie last night with my son’s girlfriend. The boys are finally due home Saturday. She and I are missing them. In an effort to distract ourselves and commiserate, we went to a comedy. It was enjoyable. I like her. She was good company.

I am ready for my life to return to normal. Too long for our family to be uprooted.


A good friend

19 Jul

So, part of this year of blogging, slowing down and listening is to figure out who I am, what God has planned for me and what I want to do when I grow up. I happened to ask a very dear friend what she thought motivated me. Her response was well thought and direct.

Basically saying that I love to help people, driven by compassion, young people and coaching. She also mentioned a penchant for being inpatient (yup) and a desire to help the people I support to be independent yet an inability to effectively train them (the impatience again). She lamented that I am in a position where I excel, but for which I am over-qualified, simply by intelligence, not degree.

Hmmmm. I am grateful for friends who will thoughtfully answer a question like this. I am unsure what to do to move forward.

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